You pull up to the scene of the crime with Bill, your partner.
“Wow, looks like a bull in a china shop.” Bill said as he stepped out of the car. “But I guess that’s better than a porcupine in a condom store.”
“Yeah, you’re a real wise-acre. Now shut up.” You say.
The crime scene was a Chinese Emporium. Apparently, an actual bull smashed through the front window, thrashed around violently, then fell over dead. The proprietor, one Jen Lee-Berg, was nonplussed to say the least.
“I don’t understand!” She said.
“Sure, sure.” Bill said. “So do you have many enemies in the bovine world?”
“Bill! Go look over the crime scene, will ya?” You say.
“Fine, whatever. You take all the fun outta bein’a cop.”
“Sorry about him, ma’am.”
“It’s OK, I’ll shoot him next.” She said, whipping out a gun from behind the counter, pointing it at your chest.
You can’t reach your shoulder holster in time, you can only defend yourself with something from the countertop: pearl chopsticks, or a bamboo fan.
Choose Your Doom.
You Chose: Pearl Chopsticks
A twisted smile stretches across Jen Lee-Berg’s face as she levels her gun at you.
Thinking quickly, your hand reaches for the first thing it can find: A pair of solid pearl chopsticks. You raise them up in an “en-guard” fashion.
She barks out a cruel laugh as she shoots you twice.
The last thing you remember are two more shots ringing out, and the sound of your partner hitting the ground.
“Bitch shot me in th’ back. That ain’t right…” Your partner mumbles before…
The enveloping darkness.
What’s that? Up ahead? It’s bright… Oh. So this is what it’s like to die.
You Chose: Bamboo Fan
You reach for the bamboo fan. You recoil from it as the cheap thing lodges a splinter in your finger. Surprised, Lee-Berg fires her gun!
The bullet hits Bill right in the back of his head. You see parts of his brains and face on the walls and floors. Somehow, the remains of his face still look smug.
“Oh, looks like I wound up shooting him first.” You hear Jen Lee-Berg say.
After you both look at what’s left of Bill lying on the floor, you regain your senses and pull out your service pistol.
“You’re under arrest!” You shout.
But it’s too late, in the time it took to pull your gun and point it at her she turned and dashed for the exit at the rear of the store.
You curse under your breath as you weigh your options.
Call in the murder and wait for backup: By the Book.
Or run after Jen before she gets away: Be a Hero.
Choose your doom.
Published on December 29th 2011, April 18th 2012