Eight Legs, One Demand

“Humans! This is your only warning. We, the Arachnid Nation, declare our sovereignty and will to be given the respect we deserve!” The spider said, it’s multifaceted eyes sparkling. It’s visage was being displayed in a secret room, where secret plans were usually made by those who sat around the long table.

“Good lord! Spiders from outer-space!” Exclaimed a four star general.

“What? Who said anything about outer space? I’m from Jersey.” The spider scoffed.

The general’s expression soured. “Even worse.”

“Oh no, we too are from Earth. And long have we have toiled beneath your stinking primate feet. For countless generations we have been growing, adapting, yes, even evolving! But do humans notice? Fuhgedaboutit.” The spider paused, seeming to ponder this injustice.

“But that time has passed! We are now claiming our place as the dominant species on this planet. You are hereby given notice, humanoids. You have 30 days to evacuate! After that all mammalians still on Earth shall be… Exterminated.”


Outrage!

“Evacuate Earth? That’s absurd! Where would we go?”

“I hear Mars is nice this time of year.” The giant spider replied, then the screen went black.

Chaos erupted around the table, everyone speaking at once: “What are we gonna do?” “Spiders?” “This is just a prank!” “Need world’s biggest can of Raid…”

“Enough!” The General slammed his fist down on the table. Everyone’s eyes turned to him. “We need to be careful. If this isn’t a prank, and spiders really have evolved higher intellect; then they could have spies everywhere.” His eyes scanned the walls. “Even in this very room.”

The shadows seemed to squirm a little in response.

“Wh-what should our next move be, General?”

The General leaned back in his chair. “I’m glad you asked. We have already planned for this eventuality.”

“Eventuality? That makes it sound like it was inevitable we would be attacked by spiders!”

“Well spiders, ants, whatever. We plan for all potential threats, including insect uprising. I know exactly what we need to do.”


Published on September 9th 2009, May 28th 2011

Made into a mini comic!

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